Oh, the New Year’s resolution.
That sanctimonious, saccharine, annoying, guilt-ridden way to begin a new year.
It is society’s way of making you believe that you are in control – that by your actions alone you can change a lifetime of unhealthy patterns. That you, alone, are responsible for your fate – that nothing that your family, friends, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad (President of Iran), the Canada Revenue Agency, or Weight Watchers will do will affect your health, wealth and happiness. Making a New Year’s resolution is the ultimate in self denial.
So here goes:
I am not going to let mean people boss me around any more. I don’t want to become a mean person, but I am, at a few stops past middle age, finally going to stand up for myself. Mean people don’t have boundaries, nor do they recognize others’. They hurt my feelings, challenge my intelligence, and often spit on me when they are talking. I will not resort to violence, but I will be physically present. If they are mean to me on the telephone, I will calmly tell them why I’m going to hang up, or ask to speak to their supervisor. If it’s my mother on the phone, I’ll have to pretend someone’s at the door.
Like a heat-seeking missile I am going to look for opportunities to laugh. Watching funny movies, spending time with children, playing Seinfeld trivia, and drinking wine with old friends – I’m going to make sure that 2013 is full of giggles. Scientists have actually studied laughter and concluded that it boosts the immune system, triggers the release of feel-good endorphins and protects the heart.
I have always been one of those anal retentive, mildly obsessive, compulsive do-gooders. This is the year I embrace silly.
I am going to learn something every day. And, every day, I’m going to do something I’ve never done before, no matter how small. I will send a text message, although I may not Twitter or Tweet. I’d like to go up in a hot air balloon. I’ll try to eat artichokes. And I am going to celebrate my achievements instead of focusing on my failures.
With my actions - not words, sappy cards, or dopey nicknames - I am going to show the people I love that I love them. I am also not going to pretend to people I do not love, that I love or like them. I was raised to be polite, but I’m not pretending any more. No more air kisses, phony cries of “I’m so excited to see you,” sitting through hours of boring travel pics, or watering the plants of people I don’t care about.
I am tired of condoning sexist and racist statements, cartoons, and emails with my silence. If I don’t protest, by default, I am agreeing. No more; I don’t want to be a part of other people’s hate. I’m going to say out loud what offends me. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, but I don’t want haters or bullies to think I am in their camp. Elvis has left that building.
I am going to let wonder and joy and nature’s beauty in. I spend too much time at my desk, on my computer, reading, worrying. I’m going to grow onions, bee balm and lavatera. I’m going to put my toes in the water, turn my face to the sun.
I’m going to deny nothing. Most importantly, myself.
